I'LL BE BACK! BETTER THAN EVER!

bear with me guys.

im still sad.

need to pour all my disappointment in my blog.

HAHAHA

took some pics on saturday & today morning.

im really impressed,sad & disappointed by the pics.
impressed that i've made noticeable improvements

sad that i may not be able to compete.
disappointed that the hardwork i put in goes to waste.

Pics taken with only camera flash
a big big challenge to myself

due to my height
i still need to be BIGGER seriously

LCP, dun be disappointed.

treat the pics as if im on stage then.
HAHAHA!

weight is still 90kg.
estimated bodyfat is around 11-13% range.
Saturday Pics

Today Morning

i've emailed the federation.

got a reply and guess what?

the manager said it will be re-scheduled to NOVEMBER.

the date/info will only be released around Sept/Oct.

im wondering if its for real???


it will be great

if it is really in november.
I WILL COMPETE!!
but i cant predict the next few months.
who knows suaysuay i get called up for enlistment
gotta take things step by step man

MY PLAN

so here goes my plan starting next wk.
it will be a bulking phase for 8-12weeks.
it will be a CLEAN BULK

purpose is to control my bodyfat

while making improvements to my body

the CLEAN BULK will end around September.

i should have some info bout the comp around that time.
taking things step by step is what i can do now.
not gonna plan 1 whole fucking big chunk of plans
and get fucking disappointed at the end again.
HAHAHA

depressed, sad, disappointed.

FUCK IT IS ALL I CAN SAY

pls let me know if the comp is still on?

sigh...

so much time.

so much hardwork.

so much so much of dedication.

this is all the fuck i ended up with.

WTF

FUCK THIS ORGANISATION.

some say its stil on.

some say its in november

some say its no longer on.

but from the words of the ppl in the organisation.

its a "NO MORE"

SO WTF?

WHICH ONE EXACTLY?!?!?

when i can compete.

i didnt

when i wan to compete.

there isnt

FUCK IT!

NO ONE CAN FUCKING UNDERSTAND HOW DISAPPOOINTED IM FEELING NOW.

ITS NOT BOUT WINNING OR WHAT.

ITS BOUT THE SACRIFICES, THE HARDWORK I PUT IN AND HOPING TO COMPETE FOR 1 LAST TIME AS A JUNIOR.

FUCK IT FUCK IT FUCK IT!

JUST FEEL LIK TOTAL CRAP NOW.

ARGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

LCP 21st bday the past saturday.

suki sushi at cine
shiok!

only pic taken on that day.
HAHAHAHAHHAA!
legs training on monday.
went with my girl
hit a new PR.
160kg squat
WOOO!

pretty amazing
cant believe it
setting a personal record while dieting.
HAHA!

i'm here to protect you!

MUAHAHAH!

few days back

1 of the company which i sent my resume to

called me up, but too bad.

enlisting for NS.

cant fucking employ me.

WTF


the company is specialized in strength/fitness solutions.

the lady called me

asked me if i know any designing skills using software.
so that i can help in designing their website/products.

of cos i said dunno

sad man bcos she said if i can do all those

i can work part time as their website designer.

instead of a full-time sales executive
FUCK IT!

lost 2 full time jobs due to NS

what can i say but SUCK!

anyway

today was chest day.

requested vincent to take couple of pics for me.

just wanna see how much i've progressed for this dieting.
and it turned out great.
better definition on the back
still maintaining between 89-90kg

WOO!

NOT GOOD ENOUGH!
IM NOT SATISFIED!
I WAN MORE!!

HA!

ROARRR!!
LCP BIRTHDAY TML!
FINALLY HE IS A MAN!
HAHAHAHA!

went out on monday with my girl

she bought her yoga matt.

i got my berms, 2 v-neck top, sling bag

spent around 90bucks.
quite worth it.
^_^

LET ME FLY PLS!
GIVE ME MORE DEFINITION PLS!

anyway
package came ytd
shared by friends and me.
WOOOO!

working later.
shiioook
$_$

hmm.

things that im gonna get soon

a top, berms, bag

mayb a pair of CROCS?

or some birkenstock look alike?

HAHAHA

i'll keep the budget of total less than 150bucks.

i hope!

=D

CROCS or not?

Havainas again?
SIAN
HELP!

HAHAHAHA!

at times

i just feel that the father-son bond is so fucked.

how i wish i got a dad

that is ever supportive.

that helps you when you're down

i didnt even get

this kind of treatment from my dad AT ALL.

all he does is criticise,demoralise,look down on me.
spoiling my fucking mood right in morning.

SO WHAT IF FATHER DAY IS COMING?!

YOU EXPECT A TREAT FROM ME?

YOU CALLED ME A 'DISGRACE' COS I DIDNT?
WAT KIND OF DOG-CRAP IS THIS?!?!

YOU DIDNT EVEN GIVE ME ANYTHING!

NOT EVEN ON MY BIRTHDAY!
YOU DIDNT SUPPORT ME IN WHATEVER I DO!
YOU DIDNT EVEN GAVE ME ANY ALLOWANCE!

YOU DIDNT SPARE ME $$ WHEN I NEEDED IT!

ALL YOU FUCKING DO IS CRITICISE ME!??!
ALL YOU DO IS ASK ME TO WORK WORK WORK SINCE WHEN??

AT THE AGE OF 12???
FUCK YOU!


YOU LOVE TO COMPARE ME TO YOUR FRIEND'S SON.

HA!

FINALLY TODAY

I TOOK UP THE COURAGE
COMPARING YOU TO MY FRIEND'S FATHER.
I DUN GIVE A FUCK NOW.
KICK ME OUT OF THE HOUSE IF U FEEL LIKE.

i swear.

if i got a child in the future.

i'll not make him feel so drifted away from me.
like how i feel now.

at times

i even feel that im closer to my friends than my dad.
im not trying to be sarcastic

but thats how i feel.

fuck it is all i can.

MY MUM IS ALL I EVER REMEMBER THAT SUPPORTED ME!

my life isnt like you.

working sleeping drinking gaming

i go off early so?
im not the only one tt left also
at least i stayed till the speech is over
the "MAINCAST" knew im going off early too

so whats the shit from your mouth about?
FAGGOT...

WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?

NOBODY!

YOU'RE JUST A FAT SWOLE!

WITH A POT LIKE BELLY HANGING ON YOU!

FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!
YOU'RE FUCKING NOBODY TO INSULT ME.

I LIVE BY MY OWN PRINCIPLES.
THIS IS MY LIFE!

MY PASSION!

MY DREAM!

$_$

working every single night from tuesday to saturday.
5days straight

cool!

its tiring.

but what to do.

$$ is important.

cost of food all so sky high now.

WTF seriously.

have not booked my NS medical yet.,

mayb nxt wk or wat ba.

wait till im free.

HAHA!

fell in love with salmon

been eating 200g everyday
on top of my daily meals
YUMMY!
MUAHAHAHHAA!